My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
