Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
worst night to have a conscience
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
