I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
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