At least make sure they are 18
Why
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
