chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
