Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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