I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
