She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
