Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
