whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
