just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
