What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
