Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
whose parrot is this?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
