Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
