also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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