look no pants
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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