Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
