The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
