I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
