Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I am mentally ready for anal.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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