Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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