i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm passing your future prison.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Dignity is for republicans.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Randomize
