idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
