i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I enjoy the company of your penis
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
