because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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