I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
