I don't think brook has ever known best
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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