Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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