1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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