Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
