I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
