I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
