Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
