i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
