You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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