Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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