i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
