just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
