Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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