I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
