He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
