**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
