my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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