any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
