bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
