She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
