We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize