The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Still dying that you shit outside
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
