hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
