I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
