She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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