My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
