All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
