There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Someone came in the potted fern
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
