I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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